What I Say vs. What I Do

Exploring the gap between the person I tell myself I want to be and the person I am.

Here’s opening essay to the sixth issue of my newsletter. To see the full newsletter, check out this and other issues here.

I’m someone who has a problem with commitments. There’s definitely a gap between the person I tell myself I want to be and the person I am. Here’s what I mean:

I say I want to be that person who reads regularly. I’m impressed by people like my Mom who, when she was in better health would read close to 50 books every year. Unfortunately, there are a lot of books on my Kindle that I’ve started, but have yet to finish.

I also say I love photography. But I don’t do it with any regularity. I’ve started having this feeling after a recent outing with my camera that I’m just not capturing anything interesting and, worse, I feel like I’m making rookie mistakes with my shots.

I suspect this newsletter will be the opposite experience. With this edition of the newsletter, I’m six whole issues in! It’s a recurring event on my calendar. And, the pleasure of producing it has shaped how I scan news and culture: I’m actively looking for things to share with you all.

But why? What makes me honor this commitment? For one, I’ve made this commitment public. Not only am I sharing this with you every other week, I tell you all at the end of each issue when you can expect the next one. That puts me on the hook.  On a deeper level, I’ve started thinking about what’s next for me. Creating this newsletter is part of that, part of who I am and what my service to others will be as I head into 2021. Still working all that out.

The reading? The fact is, I do read. Lots of articles, for sure, but I’m working on the books.  In the new year, I’ll commit 15 minutes per day. I’ll start with The Shadow King by Maaza Mengiste and will let you know in February what I thought about it.

The photography? In the new year, I will commit to sharing one new photo with every newsletter. It’ll make me pick up my camera more consistently, and if that means doing so every other week in order to be ready for this newsletter, then so be it.

Maybe this is a good way to think about things: Start by picking one or two things that we want to improve and work on them. Not only does it relieve some of the pressure we all feel to FIX EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE, but it’s also a more workable way of moving towards becoming the kind of people each of us wants to be.

I can’t be the only one thinking about this. How are you all tacking this issue? Hit reply and drop a line. I’ll appreciate the inspiration.

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