Focus On What You Can Control

Sculpture of Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius
One of the key ideas of Stoicism is discerning the difference between what you can control versus what you can’t.

I know you feel it, too: The world seems to spin more and more out of control everyday. And it’s easier than ever to be triggered by things we see on social media. The world is rightly focused on the atrocities happening in Ukraine. But at the same time, there’s a lot for us to contend with here in the States: ‘Rona is still very much a thing. Conservatives across the country are advancing bills to suppress voter participation, ban books, and criminalize abortion, trans kids and their families. We’re definitely in shitshow territory.

What’s provided some balance for me has been incorporating stoic philosophy in my life. As Ryan Holliday, creator of The Daily Stoic, writes, “…Stoicism is a tool in the pursuit of self-mastery, perseverance, and wisdom: something one uses to live a great life, rather than some esoteric field of academic inquiry.” One of the key ideas is discerning the difference between what you can control versus what you can’t. There are areas in your life where you can have a direct impact or, at least, influence. That’s where we should focus. This doesn’t mean that you should be indifferent to the suffering in the world. Rather, if we put our effort and attention towards our areas we can directly impact, we can have affect positive change.

The truth is, I have a lot on my plate. We all do. Think about it all the things you can actually control: Being a better spouse, partner, friend, parent, leader, person, community member. You get it. All of those things require attention and intention.

Lastly, and probably more important, life is short. The Stoic’s mantra is “Memento Mori,” or know that you’re going to die. It not meant to be morbid. It’s meant to remind us to stop wasting time on the unimportant things and do what most important and meaningful. A 55th birthday in less than a month really puts things into perspective for me.

If you’re interested in learning more about Stoic philosophy, Ryan’s podcast, also called the Daily Stoic, is great place to start. Most episodes are short (some as short as two minutes!), so they’re easily digestible in a single listening session. The podcast is available wherever you get your podcasts.

Stay optimistic, y’all, and do good where you can. Let’s go!

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